Life is full of excitement and boredom at the same time.
Interestingly, my drive for progress and growth has mostly come from losing interest (almost completely) from boring things. My strong tendency toward seeking something new might come from this personality. Well, world is full of useless things and incapable stuffs, so why not?
In this regard, rabbit is truly a marvelous creature - has attracted my utmost interest more than two decades. Love you rabbit!
Today, while I drink coffee, I thought that what can be the most common source of agony in life. Probably I know very likely answer - ego unmatched with ability. Everybody have ego or self-esteem either strong or weak.
Among two cases, weak ego with high ability is kind of better. Although it still gives strong sense of insecurity and suffering, it naturally disappears as one's ability shines out in reality.
Strong ego with low ability is truly a tragedy. I see this case few times in recent years. This case likely destine to be doomed as it is very much self-destructive in many ways. This is truly the source of agony, but cannot be resolved. It is lamentable that this is more common in higher educations than any other areas. Seeing this kind of people gives me feeling of watching a fish walking toward a dessert.
Love and hatred are two basic emotions in human being, for which most of emotional states are mixture of these two feelings in varying ratios. Extreme love and hatred are rare as the prior one happens when somebody can die for somebody else while the latter one happens when someone can kill somebody else. For myself, I can only die for my family yet and have only handful of persons I can kill if the chance is ripe.
In mundane life, the forms of love and hatred exist in more practical shapes. People love when it is good for them while hate when it is bad for them. Even with the highest mastery of human relationship orchestration, it is impossible to stick to only one side. We all destine to suffer from effort to be loved and courage to be hated. Hence, things become more or less business in daily lives, which is tiresome at best. But, this is for human.
Here, as I get older and more experienced, I find reasons why many people love animals such as dogs, cats, rabbits, hamsters, parrots, and so on. Not a surprise, love and hatred from animals present in much more basic way than between human beings. There is not much reasoning, and sometimes it is unconditional. Some people love dogs or cats, which are popular choices, while some people have minority tastes (like me who is dying for rabbits). Saying rabbits, I truly love them partly due to their cute appearance, and mostly due to their inability of complex reasoning (or I would say "pure" in a nice way). Dealing with people gives a lot of stresses as their background desire, wishes, intentions, situations, even thoughts can be easily readable from all different kinds of ways. When I can see shallowly disguised mismatch between inner part (desire, wishes, intentions, thoughts et al) and outer part (verbal and written expressions, gestures, facial expressions et al), it disgusts me from the deepest heart. Rabbits (and maybe many low-intelligence animals) never give such feeling, as they are intrinsically incapable of doing so.
Life is puzzling, but this is particularly mysterious nature of it. Love comes from incapability while hatred comes from capability. But it also gives lesson. When we need genuinely trustful relationship, it shouldn't be based on business criteria. At least for love and hatred, things become healthier when we get closer to that of animals.
Nowadays, winter Olympic game is ongoing. It reminds me of old question - similarity and difference between sports and study.
As a part of spectrum in human activity, I assume that sports and study might share the same quality in general. When I watch young Olympians endeavour, I feel great amount of self-development and fierce competition with others to prove it, in rather naked form. I personally find that most people consider these as kind of beautiful scene, which I agree most of time. Gold medalist's triumphant moment is commonly depicted as culmination of one's achievement, a champion surged above the fiery but fair competition.
Sometimes, I wonder whether the same point of view can be taken to study - which is generally longer and more static process than sports. I personally believe it can be, but such approach is occasionally considered as taboo even amongst academics. Why is so? I may need to think more on this. Fragments of reasonings are floating around, but it may take more time and experience to stitch them into nice idea. It is still a big puzzle to me.
When people climb up their career, particularly in academic world, it is common to find oneself surrounded by bright minds that make our own shine look dim. Typically our course to intellectual training and maturation are inevitably endless combinations of self-development and external competition. During all hustle and bustle of academic life, one lingering challenge for me (and maybe for you and all of us) is how to establish self-esteem amongst bright(er) minds.
For nerdy kids who have found their joy of life from distinguishing talent for many years of early school periods, it is understandably frustrating experience to find oneself being "inferior" to someone in the same age (or even younger) or with similar life trails (or even less fortunate ones). Over years, I personally felt such frustration and luckily, sometimes was the source of frustration (while such luck typically diminishes quickly). More daunting fact is that such self-esteem conflict is fairly routine in academic environment, especially fueled by nowadays' winner-take-all culture of academia.
Do I have solution for this? Unfortunately no. As people get experienced in academia, it is sometimes too obvious to feel this themselves or from other people. Maybe the only ready solution can be being insensitive to these kind of thing. I personally learn to be self-looking rather than looking around brighter minds. But for longer term remedy, correcting the academia's winer-takes-all culture would be more constructive movement. However, it would also be problematic to reward inferior talent over superior talent. Probably this is just a variation of the central problem of human society - making everybody happy is hard - again disclosing the tormenting nature of human life.